The Invisibility Cloak We Didn’t Order: Why Forever-Thirty Men Can’t See Past 20

Let’s face it, ladies over forty: we’ve conquered careers, aced the smoky eye, and can finally wear that show-stopping outfit without a single judgmental glance (well, maybe from teenagers, but bless their sartorial innocence). 

But the online dating world throws a curveball that’s more frustrating than a buffering dial-up connection: the Forever-Thirty Man.

It all started with a fun night of online dating exploration. My friend, let’s call her Sarah, and her stunning daughter, Emily (who’s just stepped into her early twenties), decided to create profiles together. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, the excitement was definitely skewed towards Emily’s profile – the sheer number of potential matches was like online dating catnip for a twenty-something. But Sarah, who is in her late forties but looks like she is 32, radiating confidence and sporting a profile that showcased her amazing life, was expecting a night of interesting connections, too.

Here’s the inspiration for this article: things took a hilarious turn. Sarah, with her carefully crafted profile and captivating photos, was getting mysteriously overlooked by the algorithm gods. 

Meanwhile, Emily’s inbox was overflowing with messages – but not from the kind of men they envisioned. These messages came from men who could easily be her dad (or even her grandpa!).

The Forever-Thirty Man: Stuck In A Time Warp

These fellas, clinging desperately to a bygone era of boy bands and questionable fashion choices, seem to have a superpower we never signed up for – invisibility vision. They can swipe left on a goddess over forty with nary a glance, but a blurry profile picture and a bio that screams “stuck in the 90s” is enough to send them into a digital heart-throb frenzy – all for women young enough to be their daughters.

It’s enough to make you want to hurl your phone across the room (metaphorically, of course). We put in the effort and look fabulous, yet here comes Mr. Forever-Thirty with his tired pick-up lines and outdated references. He’s like a lost cast member of “Saved by the Bell” who thinks the only thing that’s changed since the 90s is the price of a gallon of milk.

The Beauty After Forty Brigade: We Know Our Worth

So, how should we approach dating in our 40s? Well, we the Beauty After Forty Brigade, know our worth. We put in the work, look phenomenal, and deserve a partner who appreciates that. A significant other is like the perfect garnish on a delicious cake—it enhances the flavor, but the cake itself is already amazing. These Forever-Thirty Men are missing out on incredible women because they’re looking for the wrong ingredients.

And let’s be honest, the frustration is real when they flock to our daughters’ profiles, right? But instead of getting upset, let’s channel that energy into celebrating ourselves! Here’s why:

• You are a queen; remember that! A man shouldn’t define you; frankly, these guys wouldn’t appreciate the incredible woman you are anyway.
• The dating pool is an ocean, not a puddle. There are amazing men out there who appreciate a woman who’s built a life she loves. So keep swiping, queens!
• Love yourself first. A significant other is the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. You are already a complete and fabulous person; the right partner will add to your joy, not define it.

The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

The strange thing is, these Forever-Thirty Men often seem to bypass our carefully curated dating profiles and head straight for our social media pages. Maybe they’re looking for hidden clues or a glimpse into our “unfiltered lives.” Whatever the reason, it’s like a bad horror movie sequel – The Ballad of the DM Guy: A Cautionary Tale (But Mostly Just Funny). We’ve all encountered him, the king of unsolicited comments sliding into DMs with questionable pickup lines.

While a bit cringe-worthy, the DM guy often provides endless entertainment (and maybe a touch of secondhand embarrassment). But here’s the thing: our social media presence is just one facet of who we are. These Forever-Thirty Men are missing out on the real you, the incredible woman they could be connecting with.

Keeping Your Online Dating Experience Fun And Fabulous

So, how do we keep our online dating experience fun and fabulous? Here are some ideas:

• Channel your inner Beyoncé. Blast “Who Run the World (Girls)” while swiping left on these profiles with the confidence they lack.
• Shine bright like a diamond (or a sassy remark). When a Forever-Thirty Man slides into your DMs (because, let’s face it, they probably will at some point!), offer a polite but firm “Honey, I think you might be looking for someone a little younger.” Delivered with a touch of humor, it sets the record straight and shows you’re not here for games.
• Become a meme queen.  There’s a goldmine of hilarious content dedicated to the Forever-Thirty Man. Share it with your friends, have a good laugh, and remember, laughter is the best medicine (besides good skincare, of course).

Remember, ladies, you are the prize! These Forever-Thirty Men might not see it, but your perfect partner is just around the corner, ready to be dazzled by the incredible woman you are.